well you can't waste a boner
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
