i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize