I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
