Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
COCAINE IS GR8
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
