Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize