Dual....:-)
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I had to cum in my sink.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
