somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
