i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
