dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
