The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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