She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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