well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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