My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
