do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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