The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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