Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
