it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
my being single is dangerous.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
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You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize