Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
