we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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