i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
