As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
