I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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