is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
this must be what syphilis tastes like
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
