You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
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I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Come back. Shots need mouths.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
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I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I have post one night stand depression
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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