I will die if light touches me.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize