The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize