My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
