Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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