Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
