What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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