My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
