she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
