I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
the raccoons are back...
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