i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we still banned from the library?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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