you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
