so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
