matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
