Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
