I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
