Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
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