mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
