I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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