my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
