I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
