My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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