Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
