btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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