I love black thongs
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
love makes seman taste better
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
