a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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