So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
