He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
