She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It's never too late to be topless.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I don't want my vagina anymore.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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