wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
