you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
