Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
