Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
