brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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