i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Randomize
