you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
