I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Operation Purity has been aborted
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
