just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
