I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
