I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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