Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
