I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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