just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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