Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
It's just like the Real World with babies
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
